A full year has gone by - so little has changed...

So, here comes February 2011 and guess what: still battling over my weight issue, despite a couple of quite worthy efforts. Pepsi still a part of my mum's life although he is more Gela's dog; Gela being the husband of my mum's helper in her house. Apparently, the deal suits everyone: my mum feels safe and Lally (the helper in discussion) has her husband around. The fact that my mum also pays him to do silly stuff around the house such as to clear the garden from autumn leaves or to deal with rare electrological problems - like changing a lamp - was OK in the pre - crisis era.

As we now have moved to the crisis era - everything is different. So, one of the things that have changed is that Gela suddenly has to work for a leaving - other more things involve older people getting seriously poorer, as the state has decided to cut down on their pensions or more and more people becoming unemployed. Companies are cutting down on manpower so the rare job positions that do come up are magically filled by competent, yound individuals with experience and competencies and very low financial demands. So, I guess my own quest for a new job is to understate the obvious set at a very wrong place in time.

I guess the worse thing is that noone can predict at all, what is going to happen. The crisis is much more prevalent in Greece and Spain or Ireland, however this is something much more serious than that which affects Europe and ultimately the whole world. Each day I sit by the TV numb from the gloomy reality that surrounds us, depicted, oh so naturally, by the evening news. What kind of job would I want? Shouldn't I feel happy that I already have a job, a good job? What has posessed me to want to leave so much? After all, be careful what you wish for because it might come true, isn't this the old saying?

In the personal front, my kids are thriving each in their own right and I just keep loving them more everyday. So is my husband. Sometimes though we seem to be loving them more everyday, just not together...Marital crisis hand in hand with the economic one? Or normal evolution of a 7 year old marriage. If u ask me, I'll say a bit of both. Nothing to worry about, yet not something to ignore.

The major issue on the family front these days is the selection of schooling for our daughter. So what will it be? Private or public? Andreas, as a classic male seems to be the forever easy decision maker. Everything is as simple as it should be. Private school costs a small fortune every year and with two children, the burden is almost unbearable. The public school of our local neighborhood has a good reputation so putting one and one together, it is not difficult to make a decision.

For me, things are a bit different. I tend to ask anyone who has a mouth and an opinion, for inside information about the school, trying to gather as much information as possible - as if this act alone will remediate the guilt that has been pouring over me each time I think about the possibility that my children will not enjoy the high level of education that I did. Some times, I cross the line, I think. I recognise these times when I circle around the school looking around like a frenzied maniac for some sign that the school is the chosen one and that my husband has indeed made the right decision. Other times, I get out of the car and I start stalking some poor woman with her children who until they realise that all I want is information to add to my already full enough brain, they look at me with big scary eyes and mouths ready to open and start screaming. Then they realise, I am just one of thoooose women and patiently enough they offer as much information as possible. During these time I usuallt realise I may not need any more information. I have heard about how great the school is and how they have changed the curtains this year so many times that even for me, it is enough.

I guess the simple, hard to reality question is: can we afford it? And the plain simple answer is NO. We could I guess If we let Ala, our own childcarer, go in order to use her salary as the ticket to the so longed for private school. That I will also have to start ironing and cleaning the house again and doing all sort of domestic chores(if ever...) makes me opt for the public school even if it means that my children will not get the 100% bestest, pure gold education ever. And that's exactly the part when the guilt starts to pour in again; and the vicious circle starts once more.