ADOPTION BABY STEPS - WHERE WILL THEY LEAD US?

So..... After gathering all kind of information needed in order to prepare our adoption folder, we begun our sessions with our Social Worker. The sessions are aimed to discover if in fact Andreas and I are suitable parents to adopt an orphan from Africa or from anywhere really... In the beginning, both of us sat in these sessions, hence, it was OK. Once we had to move to 1-2-1 with the social worker, Andreas freaked out. He really is not the toye of person who likes to confide in anyone let alone a stranger. I on the other hand was OK, more than OK really, never had a problem with talking. Our social worker did a lot of talking herself so no problem there. Once the sessions were almost over, we started (rather I started) gathering the documents. Some of which were just a visit to the local KEP, others were a complete nightmare especially the medical exams from a PUBLIC hospital! OMG, how many times did we go to a public hospital, waiting in vain and how many times did we try to work our way through the system in order not to wait! In any case the ordeal was horrid. The problem is that neiter Andreas nor I could understand the process of doing these exams and so each time, we had missed out on bringing some valuable paper or other and so we had to start over. We were pathetic really. One day, alas, we managed to succeed! Which was such a relief... On the other hand, the psych eval of which we had heard horror stories was much smoother than anticipated. The psych hospital branch was very very close to our house, we went there during one morning and half an hour later we had our paper. That's it! (not sure however how effective the "eval" was, but there you go. Since Andreas and I know we are psych free people no problem here, is there?). Once we gathered all the necessary docs, had them translated (at a cost) and then the Ethiopean Consulate stamped them in order to autneticate them, and each stamp cost 81 euros... (so at a cost here too) and then we sent our sacred folder to our Ethiopean lawyer via courier (yep.. at a cost) we then booked our tickets (needless to say at a cost!) and arranged our trip during Easter time 2012. It was a bit scary to plan a trip to a place, where everyone said we should have had a lot of vaccinations like yellow fever or take malaria pills etc but once we went to the vaccination lady in the prefecture and she described all the downsides of the vaccines, Andreas and I turned around and left. If we are to get these symptoms, better to get them from the actual mosquitos and not the self imposed needles. Suddenly, my mum decided to spend Easter In Dubai! Which meant that my kids had to go to Dubai too, since she had promised to take care of them whilst we were away in East Africa. Since we had already booked Emirates for ourselves we added to the booking our kids and we were all off to Dubai to meet with my sister. We were then scheduled to leave the next day to Addis Ababa. Luck had it, that our DXB - ADD flight was delayed by one day and so we got to spend one day in Dubai and wish Max, my nephew happy birthday!One less day in Ethiopia of course which I hoped would not be detrimental. The flight in Addis was bumpy as hell, once we landed the pilot said: well i can't say a lot about the weather, since you felt it all!. Great, thank God for Jameson ... or was it Johnny? Who cares, the job was done. Once safely landed in Addis, I was also safely drunk and all I want is a good night's sleep. Goodnight for now, next time I will share the experience of this first trip to a wonderful country which we have come to love and from which comes our beautiful daughter Hanna.

2013, the year of Hanna?

So, it is March 08th today. It is 1.11 in the morning, so I guess it is March 9th. Andreas and I are sitting in the living room and each is staring at his own PC screen, a wonderful alienating, fascinating world. We went out tonight, it was good fun. Xanthippie and George are now 7 & 8 and it hard to imagine how life was with two small demanding children. Cause they are not small anymore. Nore are they demanding. Of course they have needs! And naturally there are times they are tiring, especially after they ve said mum a thousand times. But, still. They have grown up! They are becoming more independent as each day passes. They share the company of each other and as a result, Andreas and I have more time to ourselves. In the mornings when they wake up, let's say at quarter to eight, they play for a good one to two hourse before they start complaining about fulfilling some sort of basic need ie food or WC.... Sometimes they even prepare the food for all of us to eat. It is just so unbearingly sweet! 4 years ago I felt agitated. After some thought in to it, I realised I wanted another kid. Andreas was absolutely negative. Whatever I said or did, would not change his mind. Threats, mood swings, cunning romantic gestures or other tricks, all failed miserably. And as they failed, I was more and more desperate. Then,one day as I was cleaning the shelves of our home IKEA library, I found a folded piece of paper. I opened it. It was from a seminar I took at Shell a long time ago. We had been asked to write down 2-3 things we wanted to do in our lives before we die. I wrote, I want to climb Matsu Pitsu (God knows why), I want to adopt a baby and something else too, that I can't remember, hence it was probably not that important. Then a week later, I visited my childless and incapable of having any children, cousin and she mentioned reading an article about a guy who had adopted two children from Ethiopia. She thought it was great. Something clicked. Next morning I visited the Ethiopian Consulate in Greece which was situated 5 minutes from our house (is that carmic or what, Neni?) and I asked about any information they had on Ethiopian adoption. They gave me a long

to do

list. I went home and I opened an excel file in which I typed every item of the list. Afet I carfeully studied it, it was time to speak to Andreas again. Certain that he would disagree, I was ready for a big fight. Somehow the fight never came. He was not instantly open to the idea, but he was sceptical. I would see that he was processing the idea. I knew that if he agreed , my motives would be different to mine. I couldn't care less. My motives had to do with me having a third child. His, with saving an child. Fine, lets move on! In the next few blogs, I will share the whole experience from that visit in the Consulate until today... Goodnight everyone!

A full year has gone by - so little has changed...

So, here comes February 2011 and guess what: still battling over my weight issue, despite a couple of quite worthy efforts. Pepsi still a part of my mum's life although he is more Gela's dog; Gela being the husband of my mum's helper in her house. Apparently, the deal suits everyone: my mum feels safe and Lally (the helper in discussion) has her husband around. The fact that my mum also pays him to do silly stuff around the house such as to clear the garden from autumn leaves or to deal with rare electrological problems - like changing a lamp - was OK in the pre - crisis era.

As we now have moved to the crisis era - everything is different. So, one of the things that have changed is that Gela suddenly has to work for a leaving - other more things involve older people getting seriously poorer, as the state has decided to cut down on their pensions or more and more people becoming unemployed. Companies are cutting down on manpower so the rare job positions that do come up are magically filled by competent, yound individuals with experience and competencies and very low financial demands. So, I guess my own quest for a new job is to understate the obvious set at a very wrong place in time.

I guess the worse thing is that noone can predict at all, what is going to happen. The crisis is much more prevalent in Greece and Spain or Ireland, however this is something much more serious than that which affects Europe and ultimately the whole world. Each day I sit by the TV numb from the gloomy reality that surrounds us, depicted, oh so naturally, by the evening news. What kind of job would I want? Shouldn't I feel happy that I already have a job, a good job? What has posessed me to want to leave so much? After all, be careful what you wish for because it might come true, isn't this the old saying?

In the personal front, my kids are thriving each in their own right and I just keep loving them more everyday. So is my husband. Sometimes though we seem to be loving them more everyday, just not together...Marital crisis hand in hand with the economic one? Or normal evolution of a 7 year old marriage. If u ask me, I'll say a bit of both. Nothing to worry about, yet not something to ignore.

The major issue on the family front these days is the selection of schooling for our daughter. So what will it be? Private or public? Andreas, as a classic male seems to be the forever easy decision maker. Everything is as simple as it should be. Private school costs a small fortune every year and with two children, the burden is almost unbearable. The public school of our local neighborhood has a good reputation so putting one and one together, it is not difficult to make a decision.

For me, things are a bit different. I tend to ask anyone who has a mouth and an opinion, for inside information about the school, trying to gather as much information as possible - as if this act alone will remediate the guilt that has been pouring over me each time I think about the possibility that my children will not enjoy the high level of education that I did. Some times, I cross the line, I think. I recognise these times when I circle around the school looking around like a frenzied maniac for some sign that the school is the chosen one and that my husband has indeed made the right decision. Other times, I get out of the car and I start stalking some poor woman with her children who until they realise that all I want is information to add to my already full enough brain, they look at me with big scary eyes and mouths ready to open and start screaming. Then they realise, I am just one of thoooose women and patiently enough they offer as much information as possible. During these time I usuallt realise I may not need any more information. I have heard about how great the school is and how they have changed the curtains this year so many times that even for me, it is enough.

I guess the simple, hard to reality question is: can we afford it? And the plain simple answer is NO. We could I guess If we let Ala, our own childcarer, go in order to use her salary as the ticket to the so longed for private school. That I will also have to start ironing and cleaning the house again and doing all sort of domestic chores(if ever...) makes me opt for the public school even if it means that my children will not get the 100% bestest, pure gold education ever. And that's exactly the part when the guilt starts to pour in again; and the vicious circle starts once more.

Pepsi is here - what about my new child?

So... Pepsi arrived safely in Greece at the same night I was in Orini Arkadia in a bizarre inn and my sister Niovi went to the airport to pick him up. At first she only saw his little box and all she could hear was his tail banging on the floor. flip flop flip flop... So when he came out he naturally peed on her. So Niovi thought that some respectful words were due to make him behave and so she started shouting Asseyez vous s'il vout plait! Don't forget that Pepsi is indeed French but why Niovi thought that he would listenie being spoken to as a senior French citizen is beyond me. Anyway, she later tried assieds- toi and assis which both seemed to work equally, not.

In the coming days Pepsi ate all the Christmas treats plus a full cake and some other cookies. Afterall he was left alone in a practically new and unknown kitchen, it was only natural that he would behave somewhat bizarre. Next it was the flowers in the garden. At that point my mum called me to say that she was not at all sure she could keep him. I started imaginning my life with a Pepsi in it and once I shared those thoughts with Andreas, I realised that Pepsi-in meant Andreas-out so... I called and arranged for a dog trainer - the best in Greece ofcourse to avoid any hasty decisions from my mum's side. Anyway all is improving now and day by day Pepsi is getting used to his new life in Greece. I suspect everything is slower for him as with everything in Greece but I hope that the warmth of our family will make it worth his stay with us. his new life with us.

I have started thinking about adopting a third chid. It is a long long story that stems way back because I think this is something that was always in the back of my mind. It has not been agreed with my husband as he is so much more reluctant than me. I on the other hand am much more the optimist thinking that everything will be OK that everything will be for the better that not everything has to be perfect in order to create a perfect situation. I am confused. Why does everything has to be so complicated? Why can we not do things because they "feel" right for us and for the people that surround us? Anyway I am going to sleep.

xxxx

PS Diet during Christmas is not OK. Need to work really hard but not as hard as Eleni.

Christmas - a bliss or a disaster?

We are about to leave tomorrow for Oreini Arkadia, Greece and of course since yesterday I have swollen glands, fever and aching bones. No this is not the flu... It is what happens to me, when I stress myself or get tired which I did since I had to prepare two dinner parties each 4 days apart. So I was in a complete hype, preparing and cooking and buying things, which by the way cost an absolute fortune. So, you realise, diet was not followed in the very least. The only thing that I am trying at is not to gain any more weight and worsen things. So I try to eat one meal a day and so far it is working although nibble quite a lot. And then.. there is the other matter with the dog. So, our dog Argos, the most beautiful golden retriever, died literally on the operating table. This was not supposed to happen, yet it did. So I made it my personal mission to buy my mum another dog, since I do not want to think of her alone in that big house. I think she welcomes another dog but I doubt she would go into looking for him herself. So initially I called all the Greek golden retriever kennels (at least the reputable ones) and noone had a puppy ready to go. One thing lead to the other and I located another kennel in Cyprus. And so Cracker was on his way to us, yet at the last minute the doctor said there was a problem with his eye and I backed down. I then found another dog, a flat coated retriever from France - a greek breeder suggested this kennel as a very good one - and so Pepsi was supposed to come last Thursday only his flight was annulled and now we are expecting Pepsi on Monday - I hope that nothing will happen and that indeed he will come. I will however be in the mountains with my older sis, but this should provide my mum with ample time to bond with 16month old Pepsi. Mean while, Cracker's eyes apparently are fine, so I have asked the Cypriot lady to send him to me without charge because funnily enough I have bonded with him even without knowing him. Surprisingly enough, Giota said that she was thinking how Cracker would be maybe happier living with us and she will consider my request. So... maybe our family will be the proud owner of two dogs, instead of one, the more the merrier! Of course, with my diet and all having a Pepsi and a Cracker I am not sure how it could work! Of course if we combine all this with me nephew Max we then have a Pepsi Max and a cracker (which could be DIET) and so it will all end up beautifully!

That is it for now, wish me a speedy recovery in order to have a good time in Arkadia!

Happy New Year,

Elena

CRAZY WEEK @ WORK

It has been a couple of days since my last visit to my blog but it seems forever. Work is really hectic, we are in the middle of an acquisition, in fact it is us who are being bought. Never did I think that I would go through such periods not so much of uncertainty but more of indecisions and politics. Personally, I do not feel that my job is at risk or that I am at risk, maybe because I do not care so much about what happens. This is not true. I care. But I know that I am valued in my company and I know that the "way" that I was hired, as a talent, is a shield that even now in this turbulent times and after almost 10 years since my beginning still shields me from uncertainties such as the ones that most other colleagues face at this moment.

So ... back to my reality. These past few days have not been great for my diet effort. I have been careless and not so much followed every single Weight Watchers point that I ate. The problem is that although I cherish Weight Watchers and I think is it s diet style that suits me, the fact that I enrolled on line but then had to dis-enroll because the online version is onle available for certain countries. So, I am trying to find someone with a credit card in the UK, and that someone up to now was my younger sister who is studying in the UK but after almost a fortnight she called me to tell me that the credit card is in fact a debit card and that our mum has to transfer money into it. And after all these phone calls, is your card her yet, I have to wait my mum to come back from the Emirates, where my other sis is. Grrrrrrrr..... The problem is the Weight Watchers meetings are unavailable in Greece as they left completely..Went bust in Greece or something. So on line is truly my only option!

At the same time, Christmas is round the corner and I must lose at least 3 kilos, 3 solid fat kilos, by then. I will do it. I will be very disciplined. I will try really hard. I also have a wedding to go to, in December and I so want to look nice!

Anyway, from tomorrow I will be really carreful with everything that I eat. Talk to you soon!

Countdown

So... 33 years old, two adorable children, a great supportive husband... and greatly lost as well. I love my life, full of challenges true, yet also rewarding and fulfilling. And yes still my life is dominated by a large extent to how much food I have had and how full I am . I connect every aspect of my life to food. Love, hate, sadness, boredom, stress, tiredeness; everything can be solved merely by feeling full. And once I am indeed full, then it does not feel nice any more. I start feeling really heavy and the only thing that will settle me is to lie down by the couch and watch a film or go to sleep.

So, I think enough is enough. I need to change. I need to make the effort and make all the changes needed to change my mentality and my way of living. For myself, my marriage, my children and last but not least my health.

And so this is my battle to lose weight. My war. A war with many battles. Some will be lost, I know that even from the start. But I need to win more battles that the ones that I will lose. And in the end, I do realise that controlling my eating habits is something that will forever haunt me, however I am prepared to go down that road. The alternative is to get older, fatter and far unhappier than I am now. And this is something I am simply not prepared to do.

Therefore, this is my pledge. 1 year. 365 days. 20 kilos to lose. A target stretched but doable which will make me enjoy Christman of 2010 and make me make a different far happier New Year's resolution for 2011.

Good luck, Elena.